Deja vu

Listening to Nelly and Kelly and I miss you, listening to Usher and Alicia Keys and I miss you, Aaliyah and Case make me feel just exactly how much I miss you, listening to Tarrus Riley and Wyclef Jean is torture because it makes me miss you.

Walking in the rain and I miss you, standing in the shower and I miss you; and I miss how I used to kiss you. Drinking cold Picana and I miss you, drinking six glasses of water and I miss you, eating this take-away bhajia and I miss you, no one is here feeding this big baby and I just miss you when I go to sleep because there’s no one to hold and talk to till six in the morning.

Days turn to weeks and I miss you, weeks turn to months and I miss you. Driving down deep into the Rift Valley and I miss you, up the Western Escarpment and I miss you, around the country and I miss you. Walking on the beach and I miss you, riding on a bodaboda and I miss you. Running in the dark and I miss you. Sitting on the terraces and I miss you. Watching Ingwe play and they score and I miss you. Hugging someone else and I miss you. Kissing someone else but no, I just miss you. Laughing but down inside I miss you.

Writing this and I miss you. Reading ‘I met you today’ and I miss you. Lying in my bed at night and I miss you. Waking up alone and miss you. I miss the smell of you, I remember the scent of your clothes and I miss you. Listening to your sweet recorded voice, revising your old texts, staring at your photos, thinking about you, recalling the memories and I miss you.

Swimming in the ocean and I miss you. Drowning in your love and I just can’t help but miss you. Smiling to myself when I remember all the fun we had and I miss you. Every time my heart beats I just miss you. Picking up my cell phone to dial your number because I miss you, but you don’t pick my call so I just cry and die because I miss you.