Still not married?

So you are approaching 30 or in your early thirties, you have a good job, you are paying your own rent, you are driving a Vits and everything is generally going on well in your life, except that you are single. Technically, you are not even single in the first place. You are seeing someone but it is not official, the society considers you single until you get married.

You have not introduced whoever you are dating to your parents yet, because it is not very serious or you are not sure he is the right one, so they don’t know anything about him. They just know that they have a daughter working and living in the city. Your mother even knows where you live, in fact, she has visited you a couple of times with a basketful of potatoes.

Mothers are very inquisitive. They may not ask you directly but they will drop hints and sub-hints here and there. “So you stay here all alone, eh?” she may have asked. Her mind is a crossword puzzle with just a couple of questions answered.  She cannot understand why her firstborn daughter is still unmarried after three decades on Earth. She is worried because all the girls your age are now married with 2 to 3 kids.

To make the matter worse, your younger sister got pregnant the previous year and now has a one year old boy. The kid may have been born out of wedlock but at least she has a kid, compared to you who are “just there.”  “Your sister’s child is a big man now, he can walk by himself” she told you the last time you talked. “We are waiting for yours now” she had added.

You always laugh at that not only to show her that you are aware of her concerns, but also to cover up the fact that you are not in a hurry for that. You are an independent millennial woman, enjoying her life. You are just settling in at your new job and you have a whole life and career ahead of you.

You believe that if and when the right time for marriage comes, it will bring with it Mr. Right. You are not going to get married just because people are getting married, it is not mandatory. Who said I have to get married? You want to ask your mother that question but you don’t.

Your mother got married almost 40 years ago when marriage was more of a rite of passage than a life decision. Maybe it was even a planned or a forced marriage. People still get married nowadays but it doesn’t mean you have to get married when all of us expect you to. You are master of your destiny and the captain of your soul. After all, you are happy just the way you are.

Some of those who know you talk behind your back, saying bad things about you. They say you are old and approaching menopause. They wonder what is wrong with you, now that at your age, “you have not been found.” They don’t understand what you are waiting for or why you are still nor married. Is there no man who interested in you? Is there something wrong with you?

Leave people to their own devices. Mind your damn business. There is no deadline for getting married. Marriage in not even mandatory. And it’s not for everyone.